Love, Dad 12-1-13

This is from an email my husband sent to our daughter Thanksgiving weekend. A great example of how men can mother too!

What I want for my daughter, more than anything else, is that I want you to be happy. I have lived for more than 56 years. During that time, I have learned a few things about what makes me happy. What works for me may not work for you. Even so, I wanted to share with you a few things I have learned.

1. We all make mistakes. I try to learn from my mistakes. And I try not to make the same mistake twice. Most importantly, I don’t waste time and energy punishing myself for my mistakes. Instead, I try to figure out how to solve the problem. I look forward, not backward.

2. There are times when we all need to rely on others for help and support. I’m not ashamed to ask for help when I need it. I have learned that I don’t need to handle every problem myself.

3. I try to treat everyone I meet with kindness and respect. I don’t always succeed, but that’s my goal. If I’m kind to others, they are usually kind to me.

4. We all deal with situations that make us anxious, frustrated, or upset. I try to be aware of these reactions in myself, and I try consciously to calm myself down when I have these reactions. Sometimes, just a few deep breaths is all it takes to regain calm and composure. Other times, when I get really upset, it takes longer to calm myself down.

Of course, you already know most of what I’m saying. Still, sometimes it’s helpful to get a reminder.

I’m thinking of you and sending lots of love and good wishes your way.

Love, Dad

As a blogger, I enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts with people, and I get a special thrill when someone leaves a comment. When you share my posts on social media sites, I jump up and down doing a happy dance. So thank you!

6 thoughts on “Love, Dad 12-1-13

  1. Heidi BK Sloss Post author

    Could this seriously be more amazing? I’m going to be sure and remember to send Maya an email like this when she goes off to college. I think parents often forget to share the simple truths about life. xo

  2. Alvah Levine

    Loved reading your comments, and your husband’s too. I know how important it is to maintain a strong relationship with your children as they become older. It is always heartening to see the results of good parenting!

    1. Heidi BK Sloss Post author

      Thanks Alvah. In a funny way we are having a more typical parent/college student relationship with our youngest, now that she is in college than we did with our oldest, since we lived just 15 minutes from his university. Learning to let go and follow her lead in how much or how little she wants from us is a balancing act like no other!

    1. Heidi BK Sloss Post author

      I agree, would love to see more women and girls hear this message from their fathers. It is not too late though. We have plenty of options:

      1) We can tell ourselves this and learn how to mother and father ourselves–this is part of being an adult. at some point we have to stop blaming our parents and holding them responsible for all our troubles. Easy to say, hard to do! I know from this first hand.
      2) If we are raising boys we must raise them to be this kind of father. To be able to tell their daughters (and sons) loving messages like this no matter their daughter’s reactions. I wont share what our daughter responded to this, but suffice to say, it wasn’t well received. My guess is that it will be someday but even if it isn’t, this is the kind of message that needs to be shared with our young adult children.
      3) If our daughters (and sons) didn’t get to hear this from their fathers, then we can still share it with them as their mothers or aunts and uncles or god-parents or friends or grandparents. No matter who it comes from, as adults we can share loving words of wisdom with our young people.

      I know that there are more options, but these three are pretty powerful.


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