Monthly Archives: April 2015

The Yoga of Moving

We are in the midst of moving into our new home. It is a very exciting chapter in our lives, but also a bit stressful at the same time. Our home is not completely read: it looks like a construction site. So once again I find that I must keep reminding myself that this too shall pass, that I have chosen to move, uproot our lives and also redo parts of the new home. I try not to stress, take a deep breath, and practice the yoga of patience. At various times in the day I repeat to myself, ”I chose this; it will all work out.” On good days I only need do it a few times, on bad days, it is the constant chatter in my mind.

Here is the state of things in the new home, 10 days before our move in:

The Garage with the old laundry machines 
and doors that we aren’t using.
can’t park a car in this yet!

This is the old laundry room will be
my husband’s new closet. The open
flooring means the new carpet wasn’t
laid on time, which means his closet
wont be ready on move-in day…


New carpet is being laid in the master bedroom
so that the new California Closet’s armoire can
be installed in five days. And all the other closets
and spaces are ready for their install, except my
husband’s closet. Still a chance it might all happen together.


The master bath has become a storage room
for construction items. Faucets and shower
head still to be replaced, 
handles installed and
shower still needs 
new grout, but it is coming together.


Good news: The house is all painted and today California Closets is installing organized shelving in all of the closets (except my husband’s)—including a kitchen pantry.

Move-in day is this weekend!



As a blogger, I enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts with people, and I get a special thrill when someone leaves a comment. When you share my posts on social media sites, I jump up and down doing a happy dance. So thank you!

Someday is Today

Last fall, long before we sold our home, and I started renovating a new home, I made plans to go east to see my mother. I haven’t written much about my mother because it is complicated—what mother/daughter relationship isn’t? For years, we each wanted to get along better but we never managed to do so. Then in May 2013 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and everything changed.

Alzheimer’s is a sad disease. I have nothing new or profound to add to the heartache that this cruel wasting away of a brilliant mind means. But I can add that much to my surprise, my life has changed in some ways for the better since her diagnosis.

First of all, every child of an Alzheimer’s patient worries about getting it themselves. And odds are that many of us will. This is not a pleasant outlook, but it forced me to make some decisions about what I do and do not want for the rest of my life—with or without Alzheimer’s. Within a week of her diagnosis, I found myself back on a yoga mat, after having been absent for many years. It was always one of those things that I thought would be back in my life someday. My mother’s Alzheimer’s diagnosis made “my someday” happen today.

Second, for some strange reason, our relationship started to improve dramatically. Over the years, we have both wanted a different relationship with each other, but neither of us managed to make it happen. We were both disappointed and had resolved to accept the relationship for what it was and was not, but deep in our hearts we both wanted more: more connection, more understanding, more loving. And now we have it.

She is suffering from Alzheimer’s; this is not a subtle disease. But she is still there and while visiting her last week we had some beautiful heart-to-heart connections. Alzheimer’s may have robbed her ability to remember words and where her glasses are and even large batches of information about her life, but it hasn’t affected her ability to open up her heart. Over coffee, we both talked about how much we are now enjoying our current relationship after decades of yearning for more from each other. Ironically we both think that the other has changed while the reality is that we both have. And this has allowed us each to open up our hearts to each other.

Alzheimer’s may be taking away all the details of her life, but it has left her heart intact. The bottom line is that she can still send and receive love and really what more is there?

Here are some photos of me with my mother, my brother and my mother’s husband on my recent visit east. She doesn’t like her photo taken and I know she would not like the way she looks in the photos, but they capture a loving moment of us together that I will remember.

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As a blogger, I enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts with people, and I get a special thrill when someone leaves a comment. When you share my posts on social media sites, I jump up and down doing a happy dance. So thank you!

My Tablet Died

I felt like having a funeral for it, but I am too overwhelmed by the stress of feeling disconnected, which is ironic due to the fact that I still have a smartphone and a laptop. But I had come to really love my Nexus 7 tablet. It wasn’t my first tablet, and it won’t be my last. The reality is that it only lasted 17 months, but I really used it a lot, especially having experienced multiple hard drive crashes last year.

My first tablet was a Nook. I bought it after a trip in which I was charged a fee for being over the airline weight limit due to all the books I was carrying. As soon as I landed I made the switch and have never looked back – I have also come to depend on having a full dictionary at the tip of my fingers (both the Nook and Kindle apps have them).

And then last year I had terrible luck with my laptop experiencing four hard drive crashes, two of which occurred while we were living and traveling in Australia. According the Dell it was just a string of bad luck, and they finally upgraded me to a newer, faster, and better laptop. Note to self: always buy the extended warranty! According to my kids, it was all Dell’s fault for not being Apple. No matter who is at fault, I came to rely on my Nexus 7 even more than I thought I would when I bought it to replace my Motorola 10” which I bought to replace my (original) Nook.

I chose the Nexus 7 because it was small and lightweight and came unlocked, which meant I could use any carrier for coverage in the states or overseas. It worked beautifully until it didn’t. I won’t end up losing any data, and while inconvenienced for a few days it is not a big deal in the scheme of things.

But the issue is the withdrawal I am feeling from not having my tablet in my purse, by my side or in my hands. I feel disconnected. I know that real connection for me is when I am able to be with real people in real time. However the illusion of connection from being online is huge. And I was sucked into the false sense of connection through my tablet.

For Christmas 2010 we took the kids to Costa Rica and had a terrific time. Part of what made that family vacation so great was that we went unplugged. No smartphones, no tablets, no online distractions, only us. We connected by being together and playing games. It was wonderful. We all felt a little bit of electronic withdrawal at first, but it wasn’t long before we were just playing and enjoying being in a beautiful place on the planet.

So I was bit surprised at the depth of loss I felt when my tablet died the other day. The good news is that I didn’t panic, no momentary thoughts of crawling into bed and pulling the covers over my head—which I literally did in 2001 when I experienced my first hard drive crash. The other good news is that it died just two days before I was off for a three day stitching retreat with some girlfriends, which is the ultimate in connecting in my book.

Knowing how to take care of ourselves is critical. For me, hanging out with my family and/or good friends is a great way for me to mother myself. Connecting online is fine, but nothing beats as connecting in person.

How have you coped when your technology has let you down?

As a blogger, I enjoy sharing my ideas and thoughts with people, and I get a special thrill when someone leaves a comment. When you share my posts on social media sites, I jump up and down doing a happy dance. So thank you!